2001 9
2001/9/1:
Haiku's out of style
Soon we will replace this part
with all-new content.
2001 8
2001/8/1:
Planet of the Apes
Please don't call them monkeys, fool
They can jump real far
2001 7
2001/7/31:
La luno su
2001/7/30:
Kane du lesen
des hajku? Ala gud, dan.
Nur de gud stof har!
2001/7/1:
Flosantaj steloj
Brilas kalme tra la nub'--
Noktas kotone
2001/7/1:
Hello everyone
Sorry this haiku is lame
But I'm tired right now.
2001 6
2001/6/21:
Plena Vortaro!
Mi
2001/6/10:
Coming from Heaven
I'm trailing clouds of glory.
Or else I broke wind.
2001/6/9:
I like Haley's "Roots"--
The way it describes the tough
Life of tree systems.
2001/6/8:
Grand concepts fight with
The laws and rules of haiku:
Tension brings beauty.
2001/6/7:
If our buildings say
Anything, basketball is
The center of church.
2001/6/6: |>0 y0u |<N0// LE3+-sp34|<?
0n1y 7#3 |<EW1 k@|| Sp3aK l3E7--
L3aS7 th@t'5 W#4+ +h3y 5aY.
2001/6/2:
Do not attempt to
adjust your browser. We are
under control here.
2001/6/1:
It it just me or
Is "atlatl" an odd word?
I think, anyway.
2001 5
2001/5/31:
My political
Convictions do not tremble
At whiny music
2001/5/30:
Movie posters dance,
Fall down from the wall and hit
My head - ouch, that hurts
2001/5/25:
Particle board with
Scratched up wooden veneer
Looks kinda crappy
2001/5/24:
Perdi
2001/5/23:
Time slips past, silent
Weaves a tapestry and then
Bites you in the butt
2001/5/22:
Japanese books are
All backwards, kinda like that
Movie, "Memento"
2001/5/21:
My car needs service
It's been driven for about
Sixty thousand miles
2001/5/15:
I slip on a stone,
Stumble, fall, and hit the ground.
Earthquake to the ants?
2001/5/14:
Haiku are supposed
To have some kind of nature
Here you are, then: trees.
2001/5/13:
Writing some haiku.
Can't write too many at once
Or my ears will bleed.
2001/5/12:
Hanging upside down--
Sleeping like the Batman? No;
Spiking my big hair
2001/5/11:
Buckets of hair gel
Good for when in Utah or
An anime film
2001/5/10:
Hey all, write haiku
Lack of them's a leading cause
Of fatal cancer
2001/5/9:
Life force drips away
Re-reading the back archives
of MegaTokyo
2001/5/8:
Jen la poemo
Sena
2001/5/7:
Comics on the web
Junkie needs another fix
Post the darn strip, Pete!
2001/5/4:
Boom! Pow! Get him!
See you in hell! Bam! Agh! Pow!
It's gonna blow! BOOOOM!
2001/5/3:
I don't think so, pigs
You'll never take me alive
Now the Haiku die!
2001/5/2:
You are surrounded
Return the stolen poems
And give your pen up
2001/5/1:
These are my demands:
Two more syllables per line,
And a million bucks
2001 4
2001/4/30:
Return the Haiku
We do not negotiate
With starving poets
2001/4/29:
Empty Notebook Page
Where have all the Haiku gone?
Kidnapped poetry
2001/4/15:
Oh my goodness me!
We have run out of haiku.
Again, we need more.
2001/4/4:
Camouflage worker
Collared predators stalk him
But pass right on by
2001/4/3:
The roach coach beckons
But its call has no power
Cup o' Noodles time!
2001/4/2:
My file has been saved
Some word-processing justice
Vigilante style
2001/4/1:
Whiney CEO's:
Micromanage me and die!
Office blow-piping
2001 3
2001/3/31:
If you can read this
Then it is too late for me
Try to haiku on
2001/3/30:
A mouse cord garrote
Workplace assassination
Boss is out today
2001/3/29:
Tragedy plus time
Don't let it fester inside
Your pain is funny
2001/3/28:
I just killed a clown
Blood flows out in candy stripes
Laughter now resumes
2001/3/27:
Ich mag' meine Job:
Computerspeilen machen
Gott sei dank daf
2001/3/26:
Eggs and sausages
My skull is the frying pan
Breakfast of toothpaste
2001/3/25:
Planet of the Apes
Tim Burton will bring it back
Aren't we so lucky?
2001/3/24:
No inspiration
Comes to this newly wakened
Poet; too bad, huh?
2001/3/23:
Out of the chaos -
Stray words, unformed sentences -
I write this haiku.
2001/3/22:
Non posso farlo!
Questa lingua ha tropo
Sillabe per hai...
2001/3/21:
Forse
2001/3/20:
Video of the past,
Trapped time in a garage;
For View in a box.
2001/3/19:
"Bed time for Bonzo!"
The little girl cries to dad.
Monkeys pick bum fleas.
2001/3/18:
In herbs and spices
I will take away your life,
And call you chicken.
2001/3/17:
Secret formula:
Five syllables followed by
seven; five again.
2001/3/9:
Questions do I ask
Answers am I seeking out
Nobody will talk
2001/3/8:
Night is coming fast
But what worries me the most
Will we see a dawn?
2001/3/7:
Appeasement failed once
Who will rally the left wing?
Where is our Winston?
2001/3/6:
What about the Dems?
They are too occupied with
Reliving Munich
2001/3/5:
Now we are ruined
Fascist Republican thugs
Rule the Capitol
2001/3/4:
Clinton is a skunk
Why did we all follow him?
We were all just sheep
2001/3/3:
One thing is certain:
Bush will build the bridge to the
19th century
2001/3/2:
Bush is president
Corporations rule us all
When will this dream end?
2001/3/1:
Gladiator sucked
Why was it nominated?
Hollywood is rigged
2001 2
2001/2/28:
Oscars have gone south
Crap movies nominated
I blame Titanic!
2001/2/27:
Grad school is my dream
I'd give anything to go
Will a $20 do?
2001/2/26:
2001
Is not as enjoyable
Without monoliths
2001/2/25:
Curse Iomega
For ignoring my freakish
Zip drive on their site.
2001/2/24:
1984:
A totalitarian
society, no?
2001/2/23:
1394:
A high-speed serial bus
For all my data.
2001/2/22:
Eskimos have a
hundred words or so for Snow.
I have one, it's "cold."
2001/2/21:
Apple lied about
their Blue
2001/2/20: Pourquoi écris-je
quelques haiku en français?
Ils sont japonais...
2001/2/19: La partie mauvaise
De l'étudie de français,
C'est ces Français fous.
2001/2/18:
I wonder aloud,
Why can't Windows 98
Stop crashing so much?
2001/2/17:
Oh flu-like symptoms,
I hope you don't turn out to
Be meningitis.
2001/2/16:
E-mail contains a
virus which will eat your brain.
Do not open it.
2001/2/15:
Writing my haiku
After the class is finished
Illuminating
2001/2/14:
This Bj
2001/2/13:
Blackest India ink
being scrawled on my binder
fully illegible
2001/2/12:
Bullets and flesh dance
To the music of laughter
He watches it all
2001/2/11:
No flesh shall be spared
Meaningless blasphemies roared
Shattering impact
2001/2/10:
Squinting far across
Blade and tooth flash anxiously
Blood, spittle and fear
2001/2/9:
Great distances crossed
Two specks meet in wide expanse
And join together
2001/2/8:
Arms raised in tribute
The body praises the head
Till death do they part
2001/2/7:
The madman goes south
To find his army of sin
Bloody horizon
2001/2/6:
Just when you thought that
Poetry was safe again
Eternal Haiku
2001/2/5:
New Haiku Number
897522
Made in the U.S.
2001/2/4:
This poem was made
By Moistysoft HaikuGen
Version 4.2
2001/2/3:
Empty haiku dish
Sad poetry starvation
Please, sirs, we want more!
2001/2/2:
Stick a fork in me
I'm done with all this haiku
Entertain yourself
2001/2/1:
The speed we write these
Haiku is regulated.
Don't get a ticket!
2001 1
2001/1/31:
If I had talent
I might write stuff worth reading.
But this is more fun.
2001/1/30:
Blossoms softly fall
Like snow from...no, I can't write
That. That is too lame.
2001/1/29:
Hey, dry your eyes, man.
No need to cry just 'cause I
Kicked you in the sweets.
2001/1/28:
Dick, Bertha, and Thad.
These names are bad, but not the
Worst. That's 'Buttscrubber.'
2001/1/27:
Old people, take heed:
You're not funny. Leave humor
To the younger folks.
2001/1/26:
Haiku on the brain!
Haiku on the brain! I've got
Haiku on the brain!
2001/1/25:
Meatball on the brain!
Forget about that--I've got
Haiku on the brain!
2001/1/24:
Life is a book, or
So they say. If so, I hope
Mine's a picture book.
2001/1/23:
Is it wrong to hy-
Phenate long words in hai-
Ku? I sure hope not.
2001/1/22:
You need to put some
Oil in that baby, lady.
It's starting to squeak.
2001/1/21:
A perfect woman
Could speak in semi-colons;---
Where are you, smart girl?!
2001/1/20:
I don't know this guy;
Why is he talking to me?
Get away, freak boy!
2001/1/19:
Change is the only
Thing of which we can be sure.
Well, and stupid people.
2001/1/18:
Public officials
Debate, but I vote 'possum.
Herb for President!
2001/1/17:
Tupac had problems
But still managed to outlive
His Shakur namesake
2001/1/16:
The Black Box of Death
No metal is safe from the
Inferno within
2001/1/15:
The Blazing Laser
One hundred percent Laser
Even when it talked
2001/1/14:
From tiny blue car
Out they pour, row after row
USED4CE lives on
2001/1/13:
Everybody hide
The Clown Brigade is in town
They eat human flesh
2001/1/12:
Subtract U from 2
Add seventy years or so
And get factored out
2001/1/11:
Ticking and tocking
Just waiting for tomorrow
To do the same thing
2001/1/10:
Armies hold no sway
Over my shining crimson
Legions of coke cans
2001/1/9:
Thunder claps my back
"Tough break," consoles a maelstrom
I just storm away
2001/1/8:
I'm calm like the song
Screeching and singing of war
While I play my Pong
2001/1/7:
You can't learn BOOYAH
And you must possess BOOYAH
To recognize it
2001/1/6:
What do you want now?
Sorry, no haiku today
We take breaks sometimes
2001/1/5:
Promise never to
Sing "Sunday Bloody Sunday"
Or the dog gets it
2001/1/4:
My shoes are now hooves
Tail and horns tear my clothing
Damned to fashion Hell
2001/1/3:
My mind is racing
Exhaust burns at leaky eyes
Driving in circles
2001/1/2:
Ich hei
2001/1/1:
Tall, smooth, and shiny,
Dimensioned in square's sequence.
Teach me how to kill!
2000 12
2000/12/31:
Free was not U2
But Wade recalls another
Discotheque's alright
2000/12/30:
"RAID??" scream the roaches
But we all know what they meant
Scourge of insects: WADE!!!
2000/12/29:
I "heart" you dearly
I mean, "I heard you clearly"
Please stop that shouting
2000/12/28:
Sleeping puppy dog
Lounging, peaceful luxury
Lucky S.O.B.
2000/12/27:
Lingua latina:
Damn
2000/12/26:
I saw a movie
But I forgot what it was.
It must have been bad.
2000/12/25:
Christmas is a time
To celebrate the birthday
Of our lord, Credit
2000/12/24:
Purchasing albums
Which have only one good song...
Shoulda used Napster.
2000/12/23:
Listening to us
Any person must be moved.
That's how good we are.
2000/12/22:
Dung heap 'round midnight
All the hip beetles are here
Shit-faced and funky
2000/12/21:
Infernal blockage
Hellish wrath bloated with sin
Satan just needs bran
2000/12/20:
Sifl and Olly
Need hands up their anuses
To sing funny songs
2000/12/19:
Piss the night away
Tip the cup and let it flow
Frothy and golden
2000/12/1:
Crickey, what is this,
do I look like a fireman?
The cake is ablaze!
2000 11
2000 10
2000/10/28:
As angels look'd on
A new, exciting age dawned
With the birth of Don
2000/10/27:
I say goodbye to
A part of myself each day
Flush it down with tears
2000/10/26:
Floating in darkness
Tinkle, tinkle, little star
Fish have to pee too
2000/10/25:
Artistic haiku
Are ones the Japanese write.
Whities like my crap.
2000/10/24:
Most words are used for
Business papers and the like.
But I do haiku.
2000/10/23:
Fart fart fart fart fart
Fart fart fart fart fart fart fart
Twelve farts just for you
2000/10/22:
Believe in yourself
And you will succeed in life
Narcissism earns
2000/10/21:
Treacherous pillow
Steals the color from my dreams
Slumber sabotaged
2000/10/20:
The angel of death
Will not touch the accountants
Taxes are his match
2000/10/19:
This is not haiku
Today is opposite day
Nothing's as it seems
2000/10/18:
I'd like to purchase
Weapons grade uranium.
For here or to go?
2000/10/17:
Tom Robbins is great
But he had better watch out
His last book really stunk.
2000/10/16:
Creepy old lady --
She grins like a nightmare, thinks
She is so witty.
2000/10/15:
Are you a Doors fan?
You own Waiting for the Sun?
Nothing else can count
2000/10/14:
They Might Be Giants
Yeah, we can approve of them
And the Statesmen too.
2000/10/13:
The sane among us
Are rather against Tom Waits
Except in Fight Club
2000/10/12:
Wade don't like U2
The rest of us rather do
Bono killed his dog.
2000/10/11:
Vibber, Cruickshank, Sands,
Moisty Meadows is, Andes,
Anthony Waldram
2000/10/10:
Vibber Cruickshank Sands
These are the men of Moisty
Anthony Waldram
2000/10/9:
Mercury Venus
Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn
Ur'nus Nept Pluto
2000/10/8:
Carrot frisbee bean
Cromwell Glass Dispensation
Encephalitis
2000/10/7:
Pull out all my teeth
I won't be going easy
My brain wont be picked!!
2000/10/6:
I think anyone
Who uses "poo" in haiku
Should know that they rhyme.
2000/10/5:
What did the greeks know?
I don't buy the whole muse thing.
Poems, art are brain poo.
2000/10/4:
Can a muse be bought?
I need cheap inspiration.
Do you take coupons?
2000/10/3:
My muse is fickle
I write something inspired
Then I write this crap
2000/10/2:
I'd write some haiku
But my muse has left me dry
Filthy heartless muse
2000/10/1:
Haiku Haiku Hai
Haiku Haiku Haiku Hai
Haiku Hai Hai Hai!!
2000 9
2000/9/30:
I wrote these Haiku
And sent them via email.
Haiku in 2K!
2000/9/29:
Sometimes I wonder
Should haiku be made to rhyme?
Or would't be blunder?
2000/9/28:
In Haiku you get
Seventeen syllables, three lines:
A couplet, a spare
2000/9/27:
Dave went to Ireland
Haiku may not be his thing
He will write lim'ricks
2000/9/26:
Haiku is OK
But if we were really good
We would write sonnets
2000/9/25:
Les
2000/9/24:
I write poor haiku
But if I wrote good haiku
It would not be here!
2000/9/23:
If you haven't guessed:
R E S P E C T
Means a lot to me
2000/9/22:
Naked baby butts
Sell diapers and talcum, but
Really creep me out
2000/9/21:
What happened to you?
Fresh faced, famous, then Earth 2
Poor Noxeema Girl
2000/9/20:
Freakish clown demons
Masked thieves and purple giants...
Anyone hungry?
2000/9/19:
Stupid old lady, just look
Don't blame me for your blindness
The beef is right there
2000/9/18:
Please squeeze the Charmin
Grab it with two hands and show
that Whipple who's boss
2000/9/17:
He cooks the cow bits,
Flipping and frying with skill
Tasty hamburgers.
2000/9/16:
Sometimes I can't fit
All the syllables I need
To make a good hai
2000/9/15:
Sometimes I don't try
To do things I've never done
Just in case I can't
2000/9/14:
Grass is always green
No matter which side it's on
Fertilizer works
2000/9/13:
I wonder if I
Can write this haiku without
Writing 'haiku.' Nope.
2000/9/12:
Japanese Colonel
Makes Kentucky Fried Haiku.
Mmm...tasty poem.
2000/9/11:
Finish this haiku:
_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____
_____ _____ _____ _____ _____
2000/9/10:
Haiku poke my brain,
Fly and dance and spin around.
I think I need sleep.
2000/9/9:
Little blade of grass
Underneath my giant feet
A cow will eat you.
2000/9/8:
One Harry Potter
Between two slices of bread
Extra mayo please
2000/9/7:
Sitting makes odd sounds
Green ink oozing everywhere
My wallet is wet
2000/9/6:
Glowing blue crawdads
Try to steal my testicles...
Wrong medication
2000/9/5:
A little stone owl
Keeping a diligent watch
Over my mousepad
2000/9/4:
I went to CostCo
To buy back-to-school supplies
No colored binders.
2000/9/3:
Asian ascetic
Holding a sign by the road:
"Will haiku for food."
2000/9/2:
This haiku space is
Available for purchase
At ebay.com
2000/9/1:
They say blood is blue
When it's inside your body
Unless you're Vulcan
2000 8
2000/8/31:
Thick, grayish stuff oozed
From my nostrils yesterday
I'm rotting in there
2000/8/30:
I remembered what
I thought I had forgotten
But it's all gone now
2000/8/29:
I am Iron Man
Underneath my robes of flesh
It's all metal, babe
2000/8/28:
'Send me on my way'
Pleads the singer of the song
But I ignore him
2000/8/27:
Turn your head around
Whatever you do don't look
This haiku is bad
2000/8/26:
This one has no point
I just wrote it to kill time
Nothing to see here
2000/8/25:
Of all my virtues
I would say that my haiku
Are fairest of all
2000/8/24:
Glasses make you smart
All of the cartoons say so
Cartoons never lie
2000/8/23:
Your daily haiku
Is brought to you by Wade Sands
The Haiku Guru
2000/8/22:
Ali
2000/8/20:
Stream of consciousness
Is the only way to write
Quality haiku
2000/8/19:
Keyboards get sticky
When you eat at the computer
I shouldn't do that
2000/8/18:
The glowing haiku
Sits on Wade's computer screen
And does little more
2000/8/17:
Mp3's can help
Young bands get recognition
But starve Lars Ulrich
2000/8/16:
Mouses are not mice
Alone, they share the same name
Their plurals differ
2000/8/15:
Five syllables here
In between there are seven
Five more on bottom
2000/8/14:
The haiku awaits
Wade's gentle depression of
The Save File button
2000/8/4:
This is the content
of my exciting web site.
It is a temp hack
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